Broken Heart and Shattered Dreams . . .

This is my lament . . .

Sometimes God uses pain to teach us the hardest lessons, because we remember pain the most. That's why God told us to spank our kids, not sit them in a corner or ignore them. Pain gives us a sharp feeling, it tells us that what has happened is not good and must never happen again. Even though I've had my share of pain, I can't help feeling like I bring so much pain on myself unneccessarily. My words, my actions, my thoughts can bring me so much pain, I wonder how I can make it through the day.
When you have dreams so wonderful, then they are smashed on the floor, your heart breaks; when you give your heart away and it is thrown back, it breaks; when you assume that somethings are real, then are proven wrong, your hearts tears in two.
People who commit suicide can't handle what they feel, it is too depressing and they are too sad to handle it themselves. However, I have a God to take my sadness, to wipe my tears, to be held when the sacred is torn from my life . . . and I still survive.
I used to wonder if I could truly hurt and be hurt. I can, I have, I am. And truth is that, I am always the cause, I'm what causes my own pain. It's a gamble, letting yourself do something at the risk of pain vs. the happiness of contentment. I seem to fail everytime I try. Unlucky you may say? No, providence. God is teaching me and making me better, but it just hurts so much . . .
How can comfort come when you are uncomfortable? How can you feel peace when you are unsettled. I can give it to God, and he can mend my broken heart, he always does. There are somethings time can not erase, but what time can not, My God can. This is my only hope left, that God will give me peace. I need it, Oh God, help me, . . . I need your peace . . . give me peace . . . I need it now more than ever before . . .