blogging

nothing bad to say about blogging, i still love reading them and doing them occasionally, but i'm not as into them anymore . . . writing them that is . . . i find that now whenever i have something to say, i make a note on facebook instead, cause then it has a better chance of being read and it's less hassle, I still hope to blog some, but with next to no readers here, and a few other things, i won't be blogging as much as you may have noticed if you happen to be reading this.

p.s. like i said, i still read all the other blogs i'm in contact with.

Intense Olympics and Walmart . . .

What can I say to describe the fun I had over this last weekend? It was great seeing old friends again, as always, but I had no idea how much I would be doing and how much fun it would be. The best thing to do I guess is to start at the beginning and continue . . .
It started out with a basketball game. Not just any basketball game though. My friend Evan had made the great claim on Facebook that he was going to be beating me one-on-one and he seemed very confident. After walking to the basketball court, we started what would be the first of so many close games of the Olympics we partook in that day.
It was a game to 21 of course and we went through the whole game neck and neck. A few times I had a two point lead, but Evan would then go on a streak catching up. It was 20-17, me winning, and Evan came back on a four point streak to take the lead at 21, but in that game you have to win by two points, so I got two points, but then Evan got another point leaving the score at 22-22. I then, having control of the ball took a wild two-point shot from half-court and made it to win at 24-22. It was a lucky shot.
After walking home and resting, watching the Olympics, of which were many close games too. After that though, we decided to go shoot pool. I hadn’t played pool in so long and was so rusty, but some how managed to win one game, Evan won one, and our hour came to an end, half way through the third game. We stayed for another hour though and played Ping-pong. Not sure of how many games we played, but all of them were within two or three points of each other.
After going back home, we decided to play some DDR(dance dance revolution) just to tire ourselves out even more. After that and watching some more close games in the Olympics, we decided to continue our own Olympics by bowling. I hadn’t played bowling for a decade and Evan was really good, so I knew that this wouldn’t be so close, but to my amazement, I did alright and Evan had a bad game. I got 90 on my first game in a decade and Evan got 78. He was disappointed with his score, but I think he gave it to me. After that, Ryan showed up, so we played another game with him. He’s very good too, but I guess he needed warming up too cause he got 93. The second game I got 98 and Evan settled into his groove and got a 120 something.
Being late and to end the day with a bang, we all went to Wal-Mart and had a great idea. Ryan knew that Roman Noodles were only 17 cents, so we searched the whole store for anything that was cheaper than 17 cents, anything . . . After much deliberation and searching, we found a folder that was only 10 cents, so of course Evan bought it. Now a private joke and contest, we must try to find something cheaper than ten cents at Wal-Mart now. The cashier had a funny look on her face when Evan checked out and I made it worse getting into a conversation with her about if Wal-Mart had anything cheaper than 10 cents. She didn’t know but thought it was an “interesting question”.
To end the day, we watched Michael Phelps get his 8th medal and setting the world record, then fell asleep, waking up the next morning very sore. Swimming, playing volleyball, eating at the gator pit, and watching the Spinners win their baseball match took up the next day besides church and marked this weekend as one of the funnest I’ve had in a long time.
Wow, it was great. Hope to do it soon.

Broken Heart and Shattered Dreams . . .

This is my lament . . .

Sometimes God uses pain to teach us the hardest lessons, because we remember pain the most. That's why God told us to spank our kids, not sit them in a corner or ignore them. Pain gives us a sharp feeling, it tells us that what has happened is not good and must never happen again. Even though I've had my share of pain, I can't help feeling like I bring so much pain on myself unneccessarily. My words, my actions, my thoughts can bring me so much pain, I wonder how I can make it through the day.
When you have dreams so wonderful, then they are smashed on the floor, your heart breaks; when you give your heart away and it is thrown back, it breaks; when you assume that somethings are real, then are proven wrong, your hearts tears in two.
People who commit suicide can't handle what they feel, it is too depressing and they are too sad to handle it themselves. However, I have a God to take my sadness, to wipe my tears, to be held when the sacred is torn from my life . . . and I still survive.
I used to wonder if I could truly hurt and be hurt. I can, I have, I am. And truth is that, I am always the cause, I'm what causes my own pain. It's a gamble, letting yourself do something at the risk of pain vs. the happiness of contentment. I seem to fail everytime I try. Unlucky you may say? No, providence. God is teaching me and making me better, but it just hurts so much . . .
How can comfort come when you are uncomfortable? How can you feel peace when you are unsettled. I can give it to God, and he can mend my broken heart, he always does. There are somethings time can not erase, but what time can not, My God can. This is my only hope left, that God will give me peace. I need it, Oh God, help me, . . . I need your peace . . . give me peace . . . I need it now more than ever before . . .

I Know Someone . . .

I know someone who tells me deep things my language for my simple mind.
I know someone who uses few words but speaks to me in the most profound and erudite ways.
I know someone so perfect that can love those so imperfect.
I know someone who receives joy when I receive joy.
I know someone who never goes out of style.
I know someone who never ceases to amaze, grace, serve, love, and sanctify me.
I know someone who has the power to justify in an instant.
I know someone who can hold the world in his hands and still be personal.
I know someone who everyone talks and reads about but is not confined to his own space.
I know someone who I can talk to about everything and understand cause' he went through exactly the same thing.
I know someone can take care of millions at a time and still have the time to count the hairs on my head.
Who is He you may wonder? Well, He just happens to be my best friend forever, literally 'Forever'. He's sitting here reading as I write and telling me the words to say. I wish everyone knew Him, He's pretty amazing at that. And He's mine . . .

Unworthy

Lately, a feeling of unworthiness has crept into my soul. Believing my heart to be broken, I cried out to God, feeling something too painful to imagine, a friend lost, but never forgotten. And yet, that mindset was the thing keeping me from the peace that God alone can give. I had to pray. I prayed, and He blessed me with His peace, once more. What an awesome God. My heart was healed, my pain vanished, and my friend found and the friendship strengthened. I am so unworthy. I have been given so much more than I deserve.
I was further blessed by the unexpected, but very welcome, of a very close friend. He made something that I will cherish. Even though it was short, it's always so nice to see friends again that mean so much to me. I truly am blessed and unworthy.

Herman the Superhero

Enters the modern day superhero! A shortman with a toupe, a weird costume, and a big smile.

Jay Leno: So, Herman, you're the modern day superhero.
Herman: um, . . . uh, . . . yeah, I guess so.
Jay Leno: Who do you fight?
Herman: The forces of Evil!
Jay Leno: Who are they?
Herman: Democrats!
Jay Leno: Ah, well do you have any powers Herman?
Herman: Of course I do Jay, I'm ambidextrous.
Jay Leno: Well, that's uh, special I guess.
Herman: I also can see through glass.
Jay Leno: Well, most people can do that.
Herman: Really? Oh darn!
Jay Leno: Do you have any SUPERpowers?
Herman: I can fly.
Jay Leno: You can Fly??? Oh, how far can you fly?
Herman: If I don't hit a building or a tree, I can fy all the way to the ground.
Jay Leno: Well, how FAR can you fly?
Herman: How far can you throw me?
Jay Leno: Well , . . . uh, what do you hope for the most?
Herman: I hope that I don't spontaneously combust.
Jay Leno: Well, do you have any weaknesses?
Herman: Brownies, the double choclate with fudge.
Jay Leno: Hmm, well, Herman, I noticed your costume.
Herman: Yes, isn't it a humdinger?
Jay Leno: Yes very nice, just it has a "D" symbol on it.
Herman: Yes
Jay Leno: What does it stand for?
Herman: Oh, that's for my theme song.
Jay Leno: I didn't know you had a theme song.
Herman: Oh yes
Jay Leno: Well, what is it?
Herman: "Daa da da daaaaaah"

A New Blog?

Yeah, i feel a little guilty right now. It being lik two weeks since my last blog. Well, if it's any consolation, I have been busy doing other things. I have had more art projects I've been working on, I've been writing more in my book, and a big thing happened at work that you guys should know about.
My boss sold the restaraunt.. . .

Yeah, taht's big. I still have my job, the new boss is keeping all the old employees, the young ones too, and he's going to be changing it dramtically. Changing the name, putting in tvs, putting in a sandwhich counter likewhat they have at subway, getting new equpment, adding more to the menu. Alot, it's like an adventure. One thing cool is that he'll be prolonging the hours, which means more working time for me! Which means more mula! Not that I am infatuated with money or anythi--hey! a nickel!--but I have been needing more hours to save for college and such. It's like an answer to prayer, I'm taking this as a blessing. It will also count on my resume that I worked at two different diners, not just one even though I'm working at the same place. Anyway, that's all i can think of right now, so i'll try to keep u posted. I think Kat is rubbing off on me.

This Broken World

One thing that almost anyone, even unbelievers will agree on is two things about nature. One, that is a very orderly and efficient world, the realm of nature just works, and it works well, certain laws that never waver, symbiotic relationships, the natural order of things is in one word: Good.
The second thing about nature is that. . . . it is broken. Anyone who takes the time to look and consider it finds that in the midst of its order and efficiency, something is definitely WRONG. Sickness, death, disfunction, mutations, many things just aren't right. Something is broken, jaded, distorted, and chaotic.
The question is: What is it? What is broken and what made it so wrong?

It's like walking in the desert and finding a Porsche Convertable on a sand dune. It has a nice body, it has transmission, a motor, a steering wheel, everything, but yet, it won't run, it can't go properly, and you don't know what is wrong with it.

Is it nature that made this so wrong? Was it Mother Nature? Was God a stupid and ignorant creator that didn't care how He made things?

Or was it us?

It seems the more that nature and enviroment is left alone, the more it flourishes. But when Men come in and change it, take over, even try to correct, it becomes flawed. Even when we try to make things better with vitamins, chemicals, and electric additions, it only causes new sicknesses and things we never had before. Of which we try to fix again and make even worse.

Is it not possible that God has prevented us from finding the cure for the common cold for a reason? Indians never had good shelter, medicine, or modern ways of protection, but if we lived the way they did, then we wouldn't survive, and when they came into contact with us, they would get sick and die with simple things like the common cold.

The bible says that "Man brought sin into the world, and sin brought DEATH."

We ruined this wonderful world and are continuing to do it. Perfection stays Perfection unless something is added to it . . . . imperfection, the tiniest bit of imperfection causes the most perfect thing to become worthless.

The word of God reveals this to us. It's like the driver's manual for the Porsche. After reading it we can see something that we were incapable of seeing before. The entire front end of the car is caved in. We remember and realize that the day we were born, we drove the car into the tree of Pride and destroyed it. Even though our Father told us not to, we did it anyway.

This is a broken world, saved only by the fact that the maker of it is willing to forgive his children if they repent and change. How gracious this is. And not only that but He tells us that if we don't then He will punish us. And if we do, then this wonderful craftsman who made this car in a week, will give us something he's been working 2000 years on. We know this, but many of us reject it so blindly.

Most likely, 80 percent of the people in your church will be going to Hell when they die. It's a startling fact, but in America, where leisure is so prevalent and one-time prayer salvation is the theology, we don't truly know what it is to be a christian. WE BROKE THIS WORLD!!! Shouldn't we then be wanting to make it better with all we have? If we are truly sorry for what we've done, we won't continue doing it.

Thank God he can save this Broken World, we are breaking it more and more everyday.

Very Extensive Art Project

Ok, here's the project by me. I'm going through many of my friends and I'm going to be doing portraits of them. Most likely in pencil, maybe in ink though. And hopefully, if I"m up to it, I'll be doing a master portrait of multiple people, maybe the monadnock group picture or something. So it'll be exciting and I'm looking forward to it, I hope you are too. =)

Dancing In The Rain by Micah Lang

Someone I know who will remain nameless asked me to write a poem for them with the subject being Dancing in the rain. So, I thought I'd just share it with everyone.



One time I looked out upon the nightsky
I saw the blue moon and a fading light’s cry
--------------------------
The rain was falling down ever so gentle
But thick as a fog just after it settled
------------------------
It seemed oh so beautiful, so clean and so pure
It came from the heavens, of this I was sure
-------------------------
It was then that I saw her, under the moon wane
Dancing her heart out, a flower in the rain
---------------------------
She seemed so content, a child as it seems
With hands stretched out wide, so lost in her dreams
-----------------------------
The smile on her face, made my breath go away
I’d never seen peace, been portrayed in that way
-----------------------------
As tears filled my eyes, at the life that I saw
She turned to look at me, and beckoned me on
-------------------------------
I walked out to meet her, there drenched in the rain
I didn’t care why, my heart was not sane
-------------------------------
My love held my hand, and looked into my eyes
She didn’t seem fazed, in the least bit surprised
---------------------------------
She asked me if this one time I’d give the chance
To do something crazy, she asked me to dance
---------------------------------
I laughed for she had never asked me before
I’d wanted this always, than anything more
----------------------------------
She wanted to dance, if I didn’t mind
I grabbed her so fast, not to lose any time
------------------------------------
I’m glad it was raining, cause’ then I could cry
With love like this here, undeserving am I
----------------------------------
As rain poured down hard, time seemed to slow
The cry of our hearts seemed to drown out the flow
------------------------------------
If you haven’t known it, then I can’t explain
To dance with my precious one . . . to dance in the rain

Album cover

So, many people are interested in the album I'm working on. Nothing special and it's going slowly, but yes, I'm working on an album entitled Something Worth Living and Dying For by my band S.peed O.f S.ound. Yes, it's just me, but I liked the name so . . .

Anyway, here's my album cover. I took the photo myself and edited it myself.

If anyone's interested, I have a purevolume account which has one of my songs on it, because all the others I put up don't get played for some reason. http://www.purevolume.com/micahlangelo

Super Size Me, a McDonald's Story

So, I'm not sure who saw the documentary Super Size Me, but I was pretty impressed and surprised at some of the things I saw. The basic story is showing how bad fast food is for you and how it affects the whole nation while a guy, the filmmaker, goes for an entire month only eating food and drink from McDonald's. The guy started as a perfect conditioned guy and ended with a very damaged liver, 30 pounds heavier, headaches, depression, twice as much risk of diabetes, heart disease, and a host of other things.
Some of the very interesting facts is that:
1. America is the fattest country in the world(everyone knew that though)
2. 60% of the people in America are either overweight or obese
3. A four-year old will see 10,000 ads or commercials for candy, junk food, or fast food. That means that if the same kid ate every single meal with his parents for a year and the parents gave him good food and ate good food themselves, they would only show him a good example a 1,000 times, as compared to the 10,000 times they see it on TV, Billboards, and in stores.
4. Most public shools get their cafeteria food from major junk food companies and don't care if the kids choose only the worst parts of the food choices. The paradox is also that to get their food from healthy and natural manufacturers costs NO MORE THAN THE JUNK FOOD COMPANIES.
5. Much fast food contains a certain processed chemical that produces a drug like effect that causes addiction making you wanting to eat more and more.
6. Only 6 items on the McDonald's menu do NOT contain sugar, those are fries, mcnuggetts, hash browns, coffee, water, and diet coke. Even salads and condiments such as ketchup and dressings contain high amounts of sugar.
7. If you eat a McDonald's a mere once a week for a meal regularly, your risk of heart attacks, diabetes, and liver failure DOUBLE.
8. On Manhattan Island, which is only 13 miles long, has 83 McDonald's in it.
9. Originally, what is now the kiddie-sized, was regular, and the now small-sized, was the large size for a drink. Also, McDonald's used to sell only one size fries and that was what is now the kiddie bag sized.
10. A teenager that drinks one standard-sized coke for lunch everyday will, by the end of the week, have drunk enough pure sugar to fill a liter-sized coke bottle almost full. The guy doing the experiment by the end of the month had eaten over 30 pounds of pure sugar.
11. 90% of all McDonalds do not contain nutrition charts or carry-out nutrition booklets where as almost every other fast food place comes with them standard.
12. Kids in school that eat nutritional and well-balanced meals greatly increase they alertness, attention span, and ability to stay in shape. Fast food and junk food carry chemicals that makes you feel drowsy, bummed out, depressed, and wanting to just do nothing. It basically makes you STUPID.
13. McDonald's in 2001 spent 2.1 billion dollars in advertising, Pepsi spent over 1 billion, and Hershey spent 200 Million, where the leading nutrition company in it's BEST year spent a mere 2 million, which is 100 times less than just one candy company.
14. McDonald's recieves more customers in one day than the entire population of Spain.
15. Every health expert or doctor will say that any person should go to fast food places either not at all or extremely rare because of the unhealthyness of the food.
16. McDonald's target audience is, you guessed it, the kids, with their comercials, tv shows, cartoons, playplaces, happy meals, and free toys with kiddy meals. No other fast food restaurant has an indoor playground or a tv show.
17. McDonald's is the only fast food restaurant that has no alternative to the very unhealthy french fries they sell. (Burger King: Onion Rings, Wendy's: Baked potatoes, KFC: mashed, potato wedges, etc.)
18. 72% of all McDonald's customers are, by McDonalds standards, heavy users(one visit a week), and 22% of them are Super Heavy Users(more than three or four times a week)
19. Nine weeks after the premier of Super Size Me, McDonald's eliminated the Super-Size addition of the menu realizing the absurdity of it, but yet they said the movie had nothing to do with the decision.

These are just some of the interesting facts I can remember, but it really makes you think.

If you can, STAY AWAY FROM FAST FOOD!!!

p.s. Sorry James. =)

Awesome pic!

This Human Statue Of Liberty 1918...AWESOME !! Just had to share


I find it amazing that this photo, taken so many years ago, actually still exists! This INCREDIBLE picture was taken in 1918. It is 18,000 men preparing for war in a training camp at Camp Dodge in Iowa. EIGHTEEN THOUSAND MEN!!! What a priceless gift from our grandfathers...

Graduation, Sunburn, and Old friends.

So, over the weekend, I spent some time with really good old friends. When I told this to Evan, one of them, he joked speaking in an old voice and saying, "Oh yes yes, I haven't seen them old boys since 1968." Funny Evan. =) But Evan could do this cause' it was his graduation which was the reason for my staying over at his house. And on top of that, the party was at the beach. Which is why I got an awful sunburn especially on my feet. I wasn't the only one though, Emily, Evan, Katrina, and a few others suffered from the rays. It was a wonderful day though, We swam, and ate, and played games, and walked around, and swam again, and crawled over rocks, and played guitar, and swam again. The water was a bit cold but not too bad and very salty. It was awesome at how many friends I saw again. Many didn't come to my graduation so it was nice seeing them again. I definitely will be trying to see them more when I get my car which I'm looking for. Over all, an 11 out of 10 time. Pretty tired right and applying some aloe vera to my burns. Fun, fun, fun. God is good.

Lost in a room somewhere . . .

Lights go down. . . . the music fades.
Alone in the dark . . . forgotten
No light, just four bare walls
All the same.
The glowing florescent ground in a dark green.
Just glowing enough to see my bare feet
Pins and needles on my skin
A rush up my spine
The air is thick . . . so thick
Holding on a little longer.
For no reason at all
I'm lost
No one will find me
But I like the darkness
I cling to the silence
I love it here
Alone
In the dark
Lost

Father's Day

. . . I will dance with Cinderella . . . This phrase would bring feelings of sadness and happiness to anyone familiar with Stephen Curtis Chapman and his family. No doubt that on this day he is feeling particularly sad at the death of his daughter and I felt an urge to pray for him and his family today.
Also, I know of people who have lost their fathers and grandfathers and on these days it can only remind them of their loss. Though some will react to it differently, today will be a time of sadness for many.
It reminds me once again that nothing in this world is certain, nothing is consistent, . . . nothing is sound(to quote Jon Foreman). That is why on this day, we thank God for our Fathers that are still living and are grateful for the time we have with them. But also, it should remind us of a much more important truth. The truth of our Heavenly Father. Throughout everything he was, is, and will be with us. Through life, death, hardships, struggles, pains, joys, and even in the life hereafter. None of these we can say for certain that our earthly fathers will, and even if their are, we can't say they will do thing right, or give us the perfect encouragement and peace that only God can give.
Now is a day to look on our true Father and realize that this should be a day about Him, in true celebration.

Consecration

Imagine, being the center of attention. Coming from all over the world just to perform for people. To grace them with your prescence. To talk to them and give them the time of their lives.

People nowadays are worshipping people. We are born-worshippers, we have to worship something, but the things we choose are so meaningless. Think of actors, musicians, famous people. We worship them. They are just humans, unworthy of praise.

Now, imagine being one of those people yourself. Being a famous actor or actoress; a musician that travels all over the country, a politician, or a world-renown scientist. How would you respond? Being worshipped? It's a big problem with many famous people who are christians nowadays. We should try to do everything the best of our ability but yet, we shouldn't be "gracing them with our presence" but rather "God should be gracing them with our presence"

What are you doing if you aren't being a witness?

Face of a Grandfather Clock

Stands for centuries, looking down
Everyone looks up upon his face
He sees all that comes before him and answers all who come before him
The inner heart turning constantly
unwavering
unstopping

Then . . . .
Came the flood

Waters rage and destroy his house
He is swept away in the currents
The great waters carry to deepest jungle
No light to shine, no hearth to warm
No one to gaze upon his face but the birds
Now he is home to insects and rodents
Still . . . yet still he turns unwavering
Broken and battered
Rusted, splintered, cracked
But still unwavering
Vine and branch engulf him
He becomes heart in the forest
Waiting . . . waiting still

Through the trees, men come
Cutting and burning, sawing and clawing
They come upon his face
There in the ground
They circle around him
Staring and stalking, gazing and galking
His hands move, they have not stopped
They remove him from his new home
Take him back to their camp
and use his face to kindle their fire

Southern Style Chicken and Miracles

So, sitting here with my laptop on my lap(irony there) I was munching on the new McDonald's Southern Style Chicken Sandwich and thought I'd write a blog.

All I can really say is something very unoriginal; I love my God.

I know I say this a lot and alot of people say it, many not even meaning it, but I truly do. How can I help but love Him?

My dad told me an amazing miracle story today that I never really heard before. Our family has such great stories.

My mom's first pregnacy died during childbirth. This was devestating of course, but while my mom was 6 months pregnant with my brother Jonathon, she felt the baby inside her convulse for about two minutes then complete stillness and silence. Now, mothers can tell when a baby moves and she knew that this wasn't just kicking, it was convulsions and convulsions are siezures that happen before death.
The baby was then completely unmoving for hours and hours afterward which never happens after 6 months of pregnancy. She was crying when my Dad came home and she told him what happened. It was then that my Dad felt a boldness come from the Holy Spirit.
He went over, laid his hand on my mom's womb and said, "In the name of Jesus Christ, I command Life into this baby!"

Within twenty minutes, my mom felt the baby move again. Now, needless say, my Dad doesn't claim for sure that the baby had to be dead, but I myself believe that God performed a miracle that day just like He did on my mom's birthing of my brother.

The pregnancy lasted over 90 hours and both my mom and my brother should have logically been killed. The imbillicle cord crumbled apart into dust in the doctor's hands because of a massive infection. They both lived and at the end, all the doctors and nurses were in tears from joyous awe at this miracle. They were dumbfounded at how this could happen, however, my Mom knew and wasn't surprised at how God did it.

What a miracle huh?
Maybe you didn't think much about it when I said it the first time so I'll say it again:

I love my God.

As for me and my house . . .

Now, at the time of my graduation and a new step in my life, people have been telling me many things. Many say to keep the faith and to not be wavored by the temptations of this world of which I'll be experiencing more in college and on my own. Some tell me that now is a time to just do what I want and to have fun. Some tell me now is the time to work all the more harder while still others say I should just wait on the Lord and let Him open the doors. It occured to me more and more that some of the encouragements I received were very important but it showed how the world's low standards have affected everyone. I know for a fact that I'm saved and I will never forsake my Jesus, but yet if I'm not kept on gaurd then I'll be in more danger. I'm more worried about what I can do for others in witnessing and making the right decisions rather than worries about falling to temptations. I see how even christians can conform and even though the temptations are great, I consider keeping faithful a given. We should be discouraging sin, not falling to it.
I tried to think of how to tell others and myself this and how to be ready with an answer for anyone in this matter. It came to me as I thought of a verse I'd heard a million times and it has now become my motto. No matter what this world says is right or wrong, no matter who tells me to live the way they do, no matter how others around me, even so-called christians, act and conform to this world, "As for me and MY house, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!!!"
No matter what others do or say, I will serve my God unashamedly and uncompromising! AMEN!

New Post

Hey, sorry for all you adoring fans for not doing a new blog sooner. Well, for one thing, I'm using my laptop and was having trouble figuring out the internet thing, still can't access wireless yet. Also, I've been very busy getting ready for my Grad. Party. It was soooo awesome! To think I didn't even want one. Well, I cried . . . like a baby. It was really touching to hear all my siblings, which have never been all together for a decade, and my parents talk about me and my life and bless me and encourage me. I truly am sooo blessed to have such an amazing family. Some people couldn't make it and I missed them, it would have been nice for them to be there, but God knows best. And I love Him.

I was pleased with the grad. money. Not sure if this is improper to tell, but I received all together $660 for my graduation. Much more than I deserved and it's going to be used for my education and God's glory.
Anyway, God bless and I will be trying to write on my regular schedule again.

New Song: "The Precious Life"

This song I wrote today means a lot to me and is my song about purity.

Vs. 1: I woke up today with a thought on my mind/ what if the dreams I have were left behind/ My life was just meaningless, feelingless, and not to take hold of/ And the last I saw as I opened my eyes/ was the fading light of a sun as it dies/ my spirit is screaming out, crying out, wanting to live/
Bridge: How do we breakout/ how do we make out in the world that we're living in/
Chorus: I will wait/ cause' true love waits/ I want to stay pure till this battle is won/ in a world that is screaming out, "Do what you want!"/ I will wait/ cause' true love waits/ I want to stay true to just one till I die/ I want to feel LIFE with the one that God made just for me/ The precious life/
Vs.2: Where are the men whose intentions are true/ and where are the virgins that stayed pure for You/ why is it counterfeit, the way love is portrayed/ Why is it lust can pretend that it's love/ and how can we so often push away God/ when all that He wants is to give us a life that's worth living/
Bridge:
Chorus:
Vs.3: Lord, I now pledge from this day on/ to wait for the day that I put the ring on/ I realize compromise only destroys all I wish for/ I know that You want me to know Precious Life/ and as I experience it with my wife/ I'll praise you forever and ever and then once again/ The best thing that in this world I'll ever know/ is to know that I've found One who won't let me go/ to know that this love is for me and I don't deserve it/ So I will cling to this promise that you've made/ that it will be worth it for me if I wait/ the cry of my heart is too loud for it to just go away!/
Chorus:
Ending: The precious life/ the precious life/ . . . the precious life

Allah or Jesus Christ by Rick Mathes

> Last month, I attended my annual training session> that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance.> During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers> representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim faiths, who> explained each of their beliefs.> > I was particularly interested in what the> Islamic Imam had to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the> basics of Islam, complete with a video.> > After the presentations, time was provided for> questions and answers.> > When it was my turn, I directed my question to> the Imam and asked: 'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand> that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy> war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel,> (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in> heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an> infidel?'> > There was no disagreement with my statements> and, without hesitation, he replied, 'Non-believers! '> > I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this> straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone> who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that> correct?'> > The expression on his face changed from one of> authority and command to that of 'a little boy who had just been caught> with his hand in the cookie jar.'> > He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'> > I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem> trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those> of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in> order to guarantee them a place in heaven!'> > The Imam was speechless!> > I continued, 'I also have problem with being> your 'friend' when you and your brother clerics are telling your> followers to kill me! Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have> your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven,> or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He> wants you to be there with me?'> > You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung> his head in shame. Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of> the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of> dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslims'> beliefs.

New Laptop

So, my parents have a few traditions for their kids such as on each kid's 16th birthday, they take them out to eat and give a good talk about purity and then give them a purity ring symbolizing an oath between them, my parents, and God to save sex for marriage. Also, on every kid's graduation, my parents buy them a big present that they'll need for college or their future, such as a word processor, or my bro. got a zune ipod since he was getting everyelse from the army.
I, of which I'm very happy to say, am getting a laptop. This is huge for me since the only computer we've ever had is a windows XP from the year 2000. The one I'm getting is a windows inspiron. It's customized and being built as I write.
A lot of people I know say Apple is so much better than Windows, however, the laptop I got started at $599 and the cheapest Mac laptop on the market starts at $1100. Mine also has twice as much RAM and twice as much memory as the Mac and I got a built in webcam, a business-student operating system included, and host of other things that weren't in the Mac, to get those in the Mac I would've had to pay almost $500 more making it $1600 at least. Now, as some of my friends would say, paying the extra would be worth it. However, the question isn't that, but rather is a laptop worth $1600 to you and to me it isn't.
Also, you might find it interesting that I know 4 or 5 people that work with computers all the time, either are programmers or in a business that requires them to use several computers and get new ones each year. . . . Not ONE of them say that they think Apple is better Windows and I asked them all. In fact most of them say they prefer Windows better. I just leave it at that.

Art and God

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, the less the artist the better.

I'm so glad God decided to use me in the field of art. I love drawing and playing music so much and they seem to come right from the heart. All I have to do is let God guide me.

God show stuff new and exciting to me everyday. I must confess to a feeling of profound humility in the presence of a universe which transcends us at almost every point. I feel like a child who while playing by the seashore has found a few bright colored shells and a few pebbles while the whole vast ocean of truth stretches out almost untouched and unruffled before my eager fingers. I am nothing, but I am very close friend with the one who is everything and with Him who could possibly guess what can happen and with Him on my side, what in heaven or hell could I possibly have to fear.

Farewell June

Ok, so this band played a concert at our church yesterday. Their name; Farewell June. Their music; AWESOME! It was a free concert, but they took a love offering near the end of which I was one of the plate carriers, whooo! They've come out with two cds of which you can find on CBD.com. I was so surprised that they were sooo good cause' ours is a small church. They hail from Springfield, Missiouri and have an amazing love for God.

One of the most impressive things about the band was their guitarist. He was soooo good. Amazing. Of course everything was good about them. Their message, their music, their vocals, their attitude. They were signed, but quit that cause' their record label was asking them to do things they knew weren't right so now they're independant, but still going on strong.

I was in the front row, so that was awesome. I got to talk to them afterward, get their new cd, Identity Crisis, get their autographs, and a photo of me with them. They really are great guys. Check them out if you can. It's a great cd.

100% Relationship

A relationship is too important to pass up. Even though we may make mistakes in our choices, that doesn't mean we don't have the responsability to live with our choices. Even though we live in a country where we can basically do whatever we want, that doesn't mean we should. The right thing is always the best. Even if it sacrifices our own happiness.

The misconception about relationships nowadays is that, that special someone should be our other half, the only person to satisfy our desires. The problem with that is that it takes away from it. If that "other half" decides to leave you cause he/she doesn't "love" you anymore, does that mean that person really wasn't the one for you and you were mistaken? Maybe, but still even if it wasn't, we must still stay by their side cause' we must live with our mistakes even if they are big.

The misconception about relationships and the understanding that NEVER works is that if two people give half of themselves then everything will be alright. A 50/50 relationship never works, it ends immediately and only results in heartache. If one person gives 100% then the relationship will work, but it will be very difficult. The best relationship and the one that God meant for us to have is where each person gives 100%. If you hold somebody's heart in your hands, you will be much more careful about what you hold if your heart is in that other person's hands as well. But it isn't a duty to perform, if you truly love someone, you will want to do everything you can for them willingly without any thought of return, merely for the sake of loving them. That is true love, and it is worth every moment of a thousand lifetimes.

Babbylon and Armeggeddion

A scenic view. A dieing sun. It has been three days since Saturn's rings entered our atmosphere. It is so close now. This surreal horizon frightens me every night and day. Whenever I gaze up it, I am consumed. To know that my world will be ending tomorrow is too much for me to bare.
It has been two days since the leviathon and behemoth emerged from the deep. The creature from the sea with six heads has taken over the cities and the dragon with six heads conquers the sky. Right now he is resting on the skyscrapers.
It has been one day since ash started falling like rain turning everything a sickening gray. The great volcano emerged from central park and is still growing. The gray wolves with the red eyes entered the buildings and drove us out. We now live in the fields.
Today, the ground started to crack and split. The earth is dying and falling apart. Fire and hail began to fall. Many died but some of us found shelter. It is no use though.
For tomorrow . . . the world ends.

Teaching Algebra 2 to a Toddler

I am always disturbed when one of my co-workers say stuff that I know is ridiculous, unbiblical, and even harmful, but at some times I am at a loss for words.

For instance, yesterday, Kelly, a waitress I work with, said that she didn't believe in Marriage, that it was unneccessary, pointless, it was just a piece of paper, expensive, the divorce costs too much, and that you can have the same relationship as a married couple without being married. It truly burned me up inside that someone could be so ignorant. Marriage is a precious thing, it's of God and truly the most wonderful thing in this life as relationships go, but so many nowadays completely destroy the concept of marriage and its preciousness by getting married on a whim and then divorcing soon after cause' "it was a mistake" or "he/she doesn't love me anymore".

I base everything I believe on the Bible but those who don't believe the bible, such as my co-worker, can not possibly understand my reasoning because they don't know my God. It is like trying to explain Algebra 2 or advanced chemistry to a child who doesn't even understand simple formulas such as 2 + 2. How could they comprehend it? They don't use my logic and reasoning, so how can you explain it?

Unless the Spirit convicts, draws, and reveals a truth to even christians, they are like babies. I pity people like Kelly, because I know that they are, will be missing out on so much. Of course, I don't believe myself any better because the only reason I am God's child is from nothing but His grace. Nothing but His grace.

Last Day of School

Today was my last day of SCHOOL!!! YEAH!!! High school is over and now a world of opportunities only God could know is awaiting for me. I hope I can be the true rebelutionairy God wants me to be and that I don't underestimate what He can do through my life. After all, with God, who knows what I will do?

A Grace So BIG

I have been contemplating my sin lately. Thinking on it, even though I try to do my best and be more like Christ everyday, I fall short so much. Sinning isn't just doing wrong but merely missing the mark. Failing to give God the complete glory at every instance is a sin. I can't go for a day, not one hour without falling short in some respect. I feel so incomplete and imperfect at some times that I feel so undeserving. Then I remember that the only thing in this life and the next greater than all of my horrible sin, the only thing greater, is solely God's grace. No matter how much I fail and how much I come short, there is something bigger than all my mistakes. And that is a love so wonderful, it carries this world on its shoulders and holds us in its hands. With this is mind, how can I help but be filled with joy. I have every reason in the world to smile and if you know this grace that I do, so do you.

If ever you feel that nothing is going right or if things in your life never seem consistent, remember that God loves you so much that if you were the only person on this earth, He would have still come down and died for you. And that is a love worth living for!

Revision

ok, revision!

The other blog is : http://projectmusictransmission.blogspot.com/

DON'T GET CONFUSED!

New Blog

I have a new blog that I'm sharing with two others so far. It's just for music reviews and recent music news and such. Here's the link:

http://musictransmissionproject.blogspot.com/

Heartstrings

It's amazing how God can change our hearts in such a turnabout way. It's amazing how He can change our moods, our feelings, our hearts, and our minds in such a way that is revolutionairy. In our lives, in this world, nothing satisfies. People who love money, all they want is more money. People who love cars, have to have to fastest, biggest, most powerful car and then they want the new model each year. Those who love anything, video games, business, movies, sex, etc. . . all they want is more, all they want is better than what they already have. You know why? Because nothing this world has to offer satisfies our heart's desire. We always want more. The only thing that satisfies our heart is Jesus and his Spirit. Of course we always want more, but it is the only thing that contents our heart and is worth living our life for. How God plays our heartstrings and makes something beautiful. To close, ask yourself what you are living for. Then ask yourself if you would be willing to die for it. Those who love money or cars or work would say that of course they wouldn't die for the cause of what they love. But the thing is that if it isn't worth dieing for . . . it isn't worth living for. I believe that Jesus is worth dieing for, so I am going to live for Him too . . . in the midst of adversity . . . unashamed.

In Spirit and Word

An interesting quote from my pastor today struck me: "If you have all Spirit and no word, you'll blow up, if you have all Word and no Spirit you'll dry up, you have all Spirit and all Word, then you'll grow up." This meant alot to me cause it is full of so much truth and is worthy of expounding. If we are like traditional pentecostals, then we will be screaming, dancing, and crazy people that have no discipline and just do what they think is the spirit but merely feels good. If we are like traditional conservatives, then we will be so into the written word that we don't even allow the Spirit to guide us. Both are the wrong point of view. The truth is that if we are either, then we have none. Since the spirit and the word are so connected that if we listen to God's Spirit then it will give an even stronger desire for getting into God's word and if we are in depth with God's word then we will learn that it is the Spirit that guides us in our daily actions, but the Spirit will never prompt us to do anything that is unbiblical. In truth, if we know one then we will know both. So many conservative bible believing churches seem dead and so many pentecostal churches that get excited during worship and are on fire for God seem to be weak theologically and seem to accept anyone and anything even if it is sinful. We must be uncompromising in our beliefs but must also check our beliefs with what the bible says and be open to how the Spirit will lead those beliefs into practice and daily actions.

Inside Out!

Listening to a new PureNRG song the other day called Inside Out, I got this idea. The purpose of the song was saying like, "God, turn my life around, change me, turn me inside out." But, the idea came to me of a prayer to God in these difficult times to be a true witness for Him. To see what is in our hearts, inside us, and to bring it to the outside to our actions what our hearts truly feel. So, in a sense, to turn us Inside-out. What a prayer we should be praying everyday. To make us show on the outside what our inside is screaming for us too.

The Glass Room

In the week I was in Nicaragua, I can only recall one time where I felt depressed and sad. This one moment was the biggest growth for me as well. The following sketch is how God dealt with me spiritually during that time.

Imagine two plexiglass rooms right next to each other, both soundproof with a door unlocked but closed inbetween the two. I am in one room alone and in the other, my friends. The room my friends are in, they are having a party and a fun time without me. They are laughing and telling jokes, but I can't hear them and they can't hear me. I could open the door and walk in, but I am proud and don't want to look awkward so I just wait hoping that at least one of them will open the door and join me here, or at least come in and bring me back to their room, but nothing happens. They just continue and I am there alone. A few times one opens the door and tells me to join them, but then closes it promptly. I feel so alone and dejected. After a while I check myself and think about just how ridiculous my feelings are. Suddenly, Jesus puts His hand on my shoulder and I turn around to see that He was there all along, I was just looking the wrong way. "My child. My child," He says. Then we both sit down and have a long discussion. He shows me, once more, that I was looking at the situation the wrong way. The fact is, that I don't need friends, because I already have the best and only friend I need. Even though christian friends are very important, they aren't essential and if we only seek God's kingdom first, then He will give us all that we need.

A New Post

So, it's been a long time since my last post. The reason is pretty good. I have been in Nicaragua having the new best time of my life. Being there for the past eight days has really impacted me. God kept showing new things to me and helping me get closer to him as I ministered to the people down there and spent time with other people in my group. Unfortunately, there was so much stuff we did that I couldn't begin to tell everything, but I am putting up Facebook Albums. Those explain pretty well what we did. I hope to do more blogs and posts about how God has impacted me in the near future. But for now, just saying that I'm back and so glad to be a part of God's family. In all things, To God be the Glory.

Funny, Funny

So, we got this old tv show from the library called Mork & Mindy right? So, it's like the introducing show for Robin Williams and I soooo love it! The basic storyline is this alien(Mork) that travels to earth to observe earth customs while staying at human's home(Mindy). Robin Williams makes the show and he is just too funny. He makes weird noises, imitates famous movie parts, and one of my favorites, says what he is feeling and how he shows it before he actually does such as once he came into a store where this man was killed and the widow was sitting there crying. He comes in, looking at her says, "Who's the grouch?" Mindy replies, "Oh don't be unfeeling Mork, try to act like a human!" Mork looks again at the woman, then starts bawling himself thinking this was normal behavior. Mindy says, "Mork, she just lost her husband." Mork turns to the widow and says, "Don't worry, he'll turn up." The lady cries even louder and Mindy says, "No Mork, her husband just died!" Mork looks back and says, "Oh no! Confusion! Embarrassment! Look of sincere empathy!" Then puts on this extremely funny face.
Anyway, it is sooo funny to me! I haven't laughed out loud so much watching something for a long, long time! It's very clean too compared to sitcoms nowadays. I recommend it very much!

ARDENT PRAISE!

Think on this: "When you are in church worshiping, you are worshiping God." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Think about that! It grieves me so much when I see churches nowadays where the people sing hymns with an apathetic look on their faces, where they don't get excited, where they don't get joyful, instead, they act like it's an obligation they have to do one day a week. Where it's nice music to listen to and it's all well and good, but nothing special! Oh how I pity them. It makes me so sad when people don't appreciate worship. Think about it, coming together and praising God is something worth getting excited over! I will lift my hands up, I will clap them, I will jump for joy, I will shout with a loud voice, I will laugh, and I will cry when I hear glory being given to Him because everything I mentioned, is in the bible as things we should do, and because I GET EXCITED ABOUT WORSHIPPING MY GOD!!! I challenge you, if you do not feel an urge of God's spirit everytime you stand there and sing His praise, then you are not right with God! Now, I understand some people show their feelings differently; some just sway in reverence, others raise their hands, some dance for joy, but I believe their should be expression in worship! If people can get more excited about worshipping a football player when he scores a touchdown than when they are worshiping GOD, then how can they say they are christians?
Unfortunately, most churches that are conservative and Bible-believing lack the openness in expression because they feel like they have to be a serious example to other liberal religions. But I say they are forsaking their first love! Just like the Corinthians. Paul in his second letter kept saying how good their work was and complimenting them on their progress but he also said this . . ."You have forgotten your first love . . ." It is possible to get so tied up in working for the Lord that you forget why you are working for him.
Those who lead worship should be even better examples. Some may say they are bringing attention to themselves when musicians and singers put their bodies into their music, but I say that only God knows their hearts and if they feel God's Joy filling them so much that they can't hold themselves back, then GOOD FOR THEM! And remember, it isn't how you act when all others are doing what is right, but when everyone else is doing what you know is wrong.
I challenge you to look into your hearts and see the last time that you genuinely got excited about worshipping God; so much so that you didn't care if people looked at you when you raised your hands, so much that you didn't care if you were the only one clapping, so much that you didn't care if everyone else with just mouthing the words and you were screaming them out! When was the last time??? Lately I have been attending a church where besides me on the guitar and a pianist and two singers, there is nothing else to prompt the worship except God's spirit. And I feel like I appreciate His worship more than ever now and when I hear extravagant production and incredible talent in worship, I feel so blessed to be participating in such.
Let me end with one question to you.
Is worshiping GOD enough to get excited over? You decide.

100th Post

So this is my 100th post so far. Not that this one is all that special, but it makes for a good title, huh?
Anyway, I got Sanctus Real's We Need Each Other. I'm very happy with it. Like Evan said, it isn't as good as Fight the Tide or Face of Love, but it is a very solid album. I love the first two songs and even though these are the only two GREAT songs off the album, so far in my opinion, but it would be hard to contend with such a great calibur of albums. I am in no way disapointed.
I have finished my third Misheard Lyrics for Building 429's Glory Defined. I thought it would be easy since the singer has a gruff voice, but even though it is a little raspy, he sings with very clear pronunciation and this made it hard. I think it turned out good.
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZuTVSHWUSw
As a side note, my next I think is going to be a P.O.D. song.

On the Day of My Birth

Looking back today, I see my life. Looking through my experiences, the places I've been, what I've done, . . . . Who I've met, at some points I feel like crying, some like laughing, some in reverence, some in joy. How could I possibly be only 17 years old and yet have so many memories. Living in 6 different states, and 6 different places in Maine and Massachusets. I've been to both sides of the U.S., Canada, and to other countries. I have been to dozen of churches and have made acquaintances with thousands. I have seen God work miracles, on others and myself. I have been through trials, temptations, Mountain Peaks, valleys, hardships, blessings, and times of uncertainty. I have come through some victoriously, some, so much more than should, unvictoriously, but all for God's glory. I have been through more than even my dearest friends could ever know. I have enough memories to last two lifetimes. Over and over again, God has proven himself to me. I have become at times, dependant solely on God because nothing else was consistent in my life. I have become so much good friends with my savior, Jesus, that I, everyday, talk with Him regularly, outloud, as if talking to a friend right next to me. Unfortunately, I fail Him everyday, even every hour, I don't give Him glory for everything I do as I should, and I sin so much, it sickens me. Thank God that I have a savior. Even now, on my 17th birthday, I know God is working on me, making me more like Him. How unworthy, but yet so grateful I am. I hope and pray that this year, God will use me for His will and that I, in this crucial and deciding year in my life, will look to Him and His word solely for Guidance. As I have said before, it doesn't matter how old I get, but even on my Deathbed, I want it to be said of me that whatever I did, whether good or bad, it was all for the glory of my God. So be it!

A New Song

The following is the lyrics to the chorus of a new song I'm writing. It's about missions and going out and spreading God's word everywhere.

Lord, I thanked when the sunshine came
But I'll still praise you in the pouring rain

God, I will do whatever needs to be done
In freezing cold or in the blazing sun

I will SPREAD YOUR WORD

To the very ends of earth
Until every ear has heard

I will SPREAD YOUR WORD

Unto all who gather here
To the end of every spear

Lord, I will go where ever you will send me
Across the street or to the farthest sea

To giant glaciers or the dunes of sand
To every nation, every tongue and land

THEY WILL HEAR!

Closing: And lo, I am with you, to the very ends of earth . . . to the very ends of earth.

A Poem: Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him;
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich--yes, richer than a King--
And admirably schooled in every grace;
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Robbie Seay and Toilet Paper

Ok, just some brief up-to-date news. I have gotten the new Robbie Seay Band album "Give Yourself Away" and love it incredibly. I have Evan to thank for that. I'll get most albums he recommends and I would recommend him to any christian who wants to know some good bands and albums to get. Thanks Evan! Anyway, I'm also happy to announce that I am almost completely done with my Missions Trip to Nicaragua shopping. The only things left I really need to get are toilet paper(one roll) and a fannypack. Yeah, I know a fannypack may seem silly, but I didn't get one last year when I went and the stuff I was carrying around weighed heavily on my pockets. So I hope to get one soon. Anyway, I've been getting more into my blog lately. God has just opened up new things for me and I would recommend some of my recent posts to anyone reading including Thy Word and An Easter Speculation. Ok, I'm done.

New Misheard Lyrics Project

Due to unparalleled success with the last two misheard lyrics, I am now announcing that I am starting on my next. The song: Building 429's Glory Defined

Confusion

Life can be so confusing at times. It seems that with all the new technology and ways of communication, with all the fancy devices and all the electronic hype, so much meaning is lost in things. Even in more personal ways of communication, misunderstanding always creeps in and seems to mess everything up. I'm glad though, that I am friends with people that try to resolve things instead of just presuming. I am so bad at saying things and sometimes I feel so stupid and embarrassed it drives me crazy. I stayed up hours last night lying in bed, staring at the ceiling thinking of how I did something wrong and I felt so stupid. So many things don't happen the way you want them to. If only we were more like Jesus and his perfection, then we could say what we wanted to without fear of misunderstanding or confusion. All things happen according to his will though and for this we must all be accountable. I feel like a dog on a leash, the leash representing my salvation, and Jesus my owner. We are walking along a cliff and unknowingly, I pull on the leash in one way, but Jesus quickly pulls on the leash and stops me because he knows what is best. Sometimes it hurts . . . so much, but we know it's for our good. I also feel like I was holding something beautiful with someone and accidentally dropped it in the mud and even though this other person wants to pick it back up, that dirt will always be there and the thought crushes me. More and more I wish I knew exactly what God's will for my life was, what the future holds, cause' whenever I presume something, it seems to shockingly be torn from my view. This has happened all throughout my lifetime and I'm glad because when I go one way and I find out it's the wrong way, it makes me run back and cling to Jesus all the more. I so wish others I knew could know Jesus the way I do. I been through so much with Him and I know the best is yet to come, I know He understands my heart even when others don't. I am so glad I can expect much from God because He is always up to the task. God knows, I need so much grace and in the midst of all the confusion of today, He understands.
He understands.

A random spontaneous poem written right now

Sometimes I wait, wait for things to change
But they never do
Somethings shouldn't change
I'm glad God never changes, even though I wish he would do things my way . . . sometimes
But then as times goes by, I realize that trading my ways for his, it was always the best way
It's those times, those times that happen more than they should, when I choose my way and not His,
Not His
Oh, how I regret it
But it is in those still times
When I'm alone
All alone
In that stillness
In His presence
In this special place
I see His face
I feel His grace
And all that sin I so foolishly did
It's all erased
And I am clean
Pure
Free
There, in His presence
Alone, with my Savior
Just waiting
I am content
And I feel peace

Chapter 1 of a New Novel Idea

“Who are the subjects?”
The addressed psychologist turned around sharply lowering his clipboard.
“Oh, hello Mrs. Johansen, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Hello Dr. Gray,” Mrs. Johansen said taking the clipboard from him.
She studied the page in front her for a while. The doctor waited for a while, turned to look at her page, then looked back at her.
“We have six teens altogether,” he said.
Mrs. Johansen looked up from the clipboard as Mr. Gray continued.
“Two are troubled from drug abuse; one boy, one girl; two from physical abuse, both from the parents; one boy, one girl. Then we have one boy that lost his parents in a car accident and didn’t take it too well.”
“How so?”
“Well, he tried to resist one the people he was staying with, with a baseball bat.”
“Well, that’s nice,” She said looking back down at the clipboard.
“Then we just have one more girl who liked taking everything she saw that she wanted; eight cases of shop-lifting. The first five were items no more expensive than thirty to forty dollars, so no big deal right? Just pay for it, or return it and don’t do it again. Well, her last attempt was a six hundred dollar diamond necklace, and she got better too, wasn’t caught until after she got home and her mother found it in her dresser.”
“Some just never learn I guess.”
“I guess.”
“Well, this looks like a fun two weeks.”
The doctor just smirked and nodded.
“So,” Mrs. Johansen said, putting on her jacket, “are you sure that this will work? Six troubled teenagers all alone with two adults in the middle of nowhere?”
“I have every confidence,” the doctor said, slipping on his coat, “I know it’s a new method, but maybe seeing the problems in each other and with the correct guidance, they can see the problems in themselves.”
Mrs. Johansen followed Dr. Gray outside the one-story building into the pouring rain. The doctor slipped on his wide-brimmed hat while Mrs. Johansen pulled out an umbrella.
A large Volkswagen waited outside for them. The doctor opened Mrs. Johansen door as she scooched into the front seat. He ran around to the driver’s seat and climbed in. He rummaged around in his pocket until he found his keys then started up the car. After starting the wipers, he pulled out of the old parking lot and onto the interstate.
“Are we picking them up?” Mrs. Johansen asked.
“No,” Dr. Gray said, “they will be meeting us at the house.”
“Oh yes, what is this house we are going to?”
“Well, we had a few choices, but this one is nine miles away from a town called Claudia upstate and is on a secluded road. No traffic at all, but yet not too far from help if we need it. It’s a small town, but the house is massive; one of those old Victorian mansions. Funny too, no one has lived in it for years.”
“Why not?” Mrs. Johansen said, checking the list of supplies on the clipboard, “Sounds like a perfect place for one of those rich movie stars to buy as a vacation spot.”
“Well,” Dr. Gray said, “after I rented it for the two weeks, I found out that it apparently has a legend of a haunting.”
Mrs. Johansen shot her head up. She looked at him with quizzically.
“It isn’t like officially reported, but apparently in the 30’s it was a place where some satan worship took place or something. Anyway, I thought it would add another factor to the teens’ reaction to the situation. It may help. I know some will react differently to it but I see no harm in a local superstition.”
“Yeah well,” Mrs. Johansen said looking back down at the clipboard, “Are we going to have to clean up the house?”
“No, I hired a few housekeepers last week to go in and prepare it. There are eleven bedrooms and they all needed new sheets and pillows and such. They phoned me yesterday and told me it was ready. They said they would wait until we got there to leave since some of the teens might get there before us.”
“Then we’re all set.”
“Yep.”
“Those kids are going to be having a few of the most interesting weeks of their lives. I hope we are up to it.”
“Don’t worry Jamie,” Dr. Gray said with a smile, “they’re all troubled, the worst that could happen is that they leave the house the same as they were before.”
“Ok then,” Jamie replied, “just wake me up when we get there.”

Thy Word

Many churchs and christians don't see just how important the Word of God really is. The bible is the single most important resource for any christian and for any circumstance. The realization must be made that the Bible is not only of God, but it is God. As John puts it, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word WAS God, and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us . . ." This clearly tells us that God's word is all we need and it will save us. Jesus is the truth and the truth sets us free. Therefore if Jesus is the Word then the Word is truth and therefore the Word will set us free if we only believe and understand what God wrote in it.
Many people try to deny the authority of God's word by saying that there were dozens of different writers, including many for Genesis alone. However this doesn't disprove it's authority, but further confirms it because it would be impossible for so many men of so many diverse origins and cultures over such a vast amount of time to write such a miraculous and extensive work and not contradict each other in some regard. The bible doesn't do this. Further more it shows God's design in using many not just one man in writing it and although the writing styles are clearly different(such as in prayer some might start with "Dear God", "Dear Father", "Dear Jesus" etc.) it is just as if a writer or carpenter would use different tools. Some might use a pencil, a pen, or a crayola, or some might even carve their writing with a hammer and chisel, but it still says the same truth.
This perfect book, of which any other form of literature is just a mimickery, is in all parts "profitable for rebuke, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished until all good works." This means that every part of God's word must be recognized and used for good, there is no reason to ignore any part. The bible also says in several places including two passages in Proverbs to not "take from or add to God's word". This means that all those religions that change the Bible(Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.) can not be of God. This also means that those old scrolls that they have found(Dead-sea scrolls, Book of Judith, Book of Enoch, etc.) that weren't originally in the Bible, shouldn't be added, even though some don't refute any part of the Bible because the God I worship is powerful enough and smart enough to write His own book the right way in the way He wanted at the right time and in the right form and can preserve this wonderful book throughout all of history.
We also have assurance that it will never be destroyed, the Bible says that "God's word will never fade" and that "moth and mold will never corrupt it" It will last forever because God is forever and for this we should cherish it all the more. It is the key to eternal life and in it is God's perfect will. If only christians would look to it more and less to worldly theories and secular psychology. It has the answers to any problem and if we truly trusted in God, then we should trust just as much in the only perfect thing we have in this world. And even though man's interpretation of the Bible can be flawed at times, this word of truth will always remain, unflawed, undisturbed, and still forever perfect.

A true meaning

So many people nowadays, even so-called christians, think it "ok" to have sex outside of marriage, most would say not during marriage, but that comes more from a selfishness of wanting something all to oneself rather than the desire of God to see purity carried out. This truly disguists me, people want some reason not to do something, when there are many already. The fact that God tells me not to do something, is plenty reason enough for me to refrain! This should be sufficient for anyone because God, of course, knows more than we do. People who don't hold God's commands in high regard can not know God truly. No one can wake up one day and have rejected God's salvation when they have accepted it before. No one can lose their salvation, if you have it, then it gives a peace and love nothing else can give and you will never let go.
Another thing to think of is the fact of STD's, it is not just something to be careful about, think of it this way "If God wanted you to have sex outside of marriage, he would not have made Sexually-Transmitted-Diseases!" Think about it. Nothing that God thinks is appropriate for us to do, would he ever make harmful for us. Those who do not believe in God, there is no other real reason why they shouldn't, sin is fun, but it isn't fulfilling, that is why almost every relationship that turns to fornication breaks apart in less than a month. More people who get married get divorced than stay together. It is so sad. I can give reason for this. In every case, it is because one or both didn't follow God's guidelines for marriage, whether by before or during. How can we expect it to work when we don't do it right? Even if you foolishly marry someone who doesn't meet your expectations, if he/she doesn't break one of the three divorcable laws in the bible[abuse(physical, or economical such as drugs or alcohol), adultery, or abandonment], you must stay married to them. If you make a mistake, you must live with the consequences, a foolish marriage must not resolve itself with more sin. And if a guy gets a girl pregnant, the only honorable thing to do would be marriage to her. He may say, "I don't want to marry her, I don't love her." Well then, you should have thought of that before you made such a drastic choice. If you were man enough to have sex with her, then you are man enough to make right by it. God's way is always the best, and if we don't follow it, we can never expect to come to a good end. I'll choose God's way and enjoy the precious life, I hope you will too.

An Easter Picture

An Easter Speculation

It came to me that although we spend so much time celebrating Christmas and Christ's birth, it isn't nearly worth the celebration and rejoicing as much as Easter. Why you may ask? Well, Christ's birth shows God's proof of the old testament prophecies, but Easter is the fullfillment of it. If Christ was born and then never died, we would have no hope at all. It is entirely in the fact of Good Friday that he died for us to save us when he had no fault that completes the sacrifice, but Easter is a second proof of God's approval that the sacrifice was sufficient and that with sin comes death, but since he had no sin, death could not hold him. And if he stayed dead, then he would not be the representation of eternal life of which we all are aspiring to attain. It is true that satan bruised his heel, but Jesus in return crushed his head! Just like in the Chronicles of Narnia, in trying to defeat the prophecy, the enemy was the one that carried it out. Only a God who is all-knowing and all-powerful could have arranged such a perfect plan. The true meaning of Easter is not a fluffy bunny, choclate eggs, or flowers and though we try to disguise it as best as possible, the true meaning of Jesus's LIFE is that this powerful event has the power to save an entire world from its sin and death. And for this we should truly Celebrate!

The Reality of God

After thinking about it, I came to realize something very important about myself. Although we must try to be more like Jesus, sometimes we know that Jesus would act differently in some ways rather than what we were meant to. If Jesus' life was to be our blueprint, then every christian would be a full-time missionairy with followers and would give their life and death to the ministry work of Christ. In some ways this is to be our goal but in some ways it isn't. I believe that Jesus would never be a Boxer, a Pro. Athlete, a Newspaper reporter, or of the such. Whereas I believe a christian can give God the glory in almost any occupation. The term should not be what would Jesus do, but what would Jesus have me do. Knowing that we can in no way be ever close to being like Jesus we must realize that God has a different will for our lives for every individual, some He has called to be missionairies, some to be trash collectors. We must be willing to give all to God and seek His kingdom first and then everything else He will grant us. I in no way can understand God, but I know he understands me. I can't expect to be like Jesus, but I want to try as hard as I can, cause to God, He is living my life right now, and He counts me as if I have Lived His.

Mindstorm

I find that when thinking on complicated issues I get confused. When thinking on God and his awesomeness, I find myself inadequate to understand. I know its important to have views on the gray areas and to be knowledgable on the all points in the bible, but sometimes it's the small, simple truth of God that we need to dwell on. When it all comes down to it, it isn't our complicated religions and defered beliefs that save us, no, it isn't even how good we are, but the simple relationship with Jesus and his salvation that justifies us. I believe there is no right denomination; pentecostals, baptists, protestants, methodists, presbyterians, and yes, even roman catholics, Jehovah's witnesses, and mormins can be saved as long as they have a personal relationship with Jesus. Some of these religions are not based solely on the bible and that is their fault, but yet God is no respecter of persons and we should not be either, that is if we are trying to be like Him.

Reply to Evan's Post: Best Album Covers

Lights in the Arena, The 2nd Chronicle

My heart beats four times, then stops, I close my eyes, so I can see
I reach out my hands and feel the darkness
I feel the breath of something behind and above me
Towering over me, with . . . with red eyes
RUN! RUN! RUN!
That’s the only thought that runs through my head
I flee the arena, the wind in my face,
While the giant dragonflies circle above me in the darkened sky
My feet fly underneath me
I feel no rest, no exhaustion, no sweat, no blood
I run on the soft grass across the border in the Trees
As I enter, I stop, and look around
Two lone books rest at my feet, open, with pages torn
I pick them up to read, but they are empty pages
I look on the covers
One is entitled Man’s Knowledge and other . . . Man’s Soul
I drop them to the ground and look up into the trees
A rush of wind picks up leaves and the branches creek and sway like arms
I see a creature, a dark creature
THERE! Between the trees
I run again, away from the trees
The coliseum stands on the hilltop in the distance and I dare not go there
The seaside takes up the North
There is one place to go just one place
I run into the ruins of the skyscrapers
I race up the marble shattered steps
Something behind me
Always behind me
I hide up in the rafters
Searchlights!
They come from below me!
But they are not my threat
They are not the danger
I thought I was safe
Safe in the rafters
That was my second mistake
Cause this is where THEY hide as well

Blog

It's been a while since my last blog, I plan on doing one of more poetic significance. If you have read my poem Light of the Arena, this next one will be the second chapter of that.

God's Perfect Omnipotence

Something came to me as I read the passage from Phillipians, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I realized that a lot of christians misinterpret this passage. This passage doesn't mean that we can do whatever we want because we are christians. If this were true, then someone could say, "I'm going to be the President." and when they try their best and do not even get close, praying to God to give them this, they say that this promise from God is untrue and that God is a liar. It means rather that whatever God chooses to give to us and opportunities He puts our way, He will give us strength to overcome. Even if we think something is God's will and it doesn't work out, then it mustn't be God will, because this entire world revolves according to God's perfect omnipotence. Even if it does work out, but yet does not produce good fruit, or is associated with those that do not, then it isn't His perfect Will. Rather, we must pray and allow God to manifest His will in our lives and follow His guidance according solely to His Word. If anything doesn't accord to His written Word, then it can not be of God. The scripture more proves the point that God will never give us anything we can't handle, or more something we can't handle but can with Christ's strength. Now, this doesn't apply to anyone except God's chosen people. Isn't it amazing that God's grace is shown to those that completely reject God in that He allows them to even live and usually it seems better off in this world than most christians. It's scary to think of how they live their lives with no real hope and seem so content. Isn't it our duty to share this wonderful joy with those who don't have it? Not to is just plain selfishness and complete rejection of God's command to Spread the Gospel to every creature. I hope that I and all christians can become more humble and less dependant on other's opinions to share the truth with others before it is too late.

A Prayer to My Future Wife

Oh love of my life here on earth. Wait for me. Remain pure for me as I will remain pure for you. Oh dearest, I know that you are wonderful and beautiful and moral even though I haven't met you yet. Only God knows when and where I will meet you. I long for that day and the day I finally can take you home to be my wife. To live the precious life that Solomon told about and to live it with you. It will be so wonderful. Beyond comprehension. I would give my life for you, give my all. I will love you with all my heart. Only one thing I require is that, even though I know you will love me and be willing to give your life for me, you must love God more. Only if that love exists can our love be complete. No matter what we do, we know God will never forsake us and if we never forsake Him, then we can never forsake each other. Oh, my darling, my love, I long for you so, just as you long for me. Wait my dear, wait.

A Squirrelly Time

Okay so at work I was going to take out the trash to the huge dumpster. I looked down into it and there was a squirrel inside trying to get out. This has happened before, but this was the first time the squirrel couldn't get out. It tried to do a Jackie Chan thing by bouncing off of one wall of the dumpster and jumping out, but it missed every time by half a foot. After a dozen attempts it stopped and hid under a box. It didn't listen to my commands to get out of there, so I felt obligated to help it out. I got a long-handled broom and stuck it in there. I moved the box it was under out of the way and it attempted to jump out again and failed. It then just sat there. I yelled at it to jump on the handle and get out but it was stubborn so I bumped it with the broom until it got the idea. It then tried to shimmy up the pole like a bear up a tree but the broom was slippery and it slid down as much as it shimmied so I lifted up the broom and it slid within a couple inches of my hand but didn't move a muscle. I then brought the broom out of the dumpster and it still hung on. It continued hanging until I shook the broom. It then jumped off and raced up a tree. Funny huh?